Waiting. We are sitting in the waiting room, waiting. The butterflies are definitely still swirling around, but I’m actually feeling calmer at this point than I thought I would. Maybe it’s because I’ve received so many wonderful notes and calls from all the supportive members of Mary Hazel’s team. Maybe it’s because several of you are doing your best to distract me by playing faux Scrabble online. Maybe it’s because I know my baby is in the best possible care right this minute and wringing my hands is not going to affect the outcome. The hardest part of the day, so far, was walking down the very long sterile hallway to the OR knowing in a matter of seconds I would have to hand over my sweet warm baby to strangers. Everyone tells me that it’s for the best that MH is so young that she won’t remember all this, but her lack of understanding also makes it hard when I can’t console or comfort her now. I hope she doesn’t think that Mommy is doing this TO her. I hope she still reaches to me for comfort three days from now. Silly worries, I know, but these are the thoughts running through my head while I wait.
The nurse just called to report surgery is now getting underway. They had to place two IVs since there is a high probability that MH will need a blood transfusion as well as a regular IV for meds. The surgeon informed us that if the tumor weighs less than 550 grams, we may not require chemotherapy. He said MH’s tumor seems to be borderline, so we’ll cross our fingers. When pathology gives the the weight report, they will make the decision about placing the port.
The kidney is now out. They are also removing some nodes and other tissue for testing. We should hear news of the staging in a few days.
More loving family has just arrived with open arms. I will continue waiting with them and report back soon.